yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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