I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
