So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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