i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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