I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
