Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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