whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
