I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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