My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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