i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
