I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
