he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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