They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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