Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
