dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
