mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize