so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
