as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize