he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
