Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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