yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
