How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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