can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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