i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
