That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize