the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize