Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
