so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
