So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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