Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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