no, he came in my armpit
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
should my penis look like a turkey
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You pole danced in your parka.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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