Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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