Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
