I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
