Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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