well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
