Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
