Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
