You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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