I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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