Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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