I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize