Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
