Soap is not a condiment
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
This gyro tastes like lonliness
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
