kristin has been a bad kristin
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
