I want to make a zoo with you.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
