3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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