her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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