worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
