foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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