sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
