My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
