Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I have demons in me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize