I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
