Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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