If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
