yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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