just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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