All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
