He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
