Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You did what with his pubic hair?
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