the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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