But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
