I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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