Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
