we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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