If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize