My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
