Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
