Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
