I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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