Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
